Restless

Apr. 11th, 2010 08:45 pm
gun_smoke_blue: (atla: there's thunder in our hearts)
Today's just one of those days, I guess. Nothing of note was accomplished, besides eating, sleeping, and breathing. I left my toothbrush over at my friend's place, and so am faced with a dilemma: completely ignore brushing until she returns it to me, or expend energy to get a new, temporary brush.

The choices. They burn.

I'm in one of those surly moods where I hate absolutely everything and everyone for no apparent reason.

A recent text conversation between my boyfriend and I went like this:

BF: Wanna go out 2 lunch on Sat?

Me: I h8 ur face

BF: wtf?

Me: No. Go away. I don't liek n e 1 n e more.

BF: R u in 1 of ur strange moods again?

Me: UR PARENTS WERE SIBLINGS

BF: Rite. So no lunch on Sat then.

Everything's just so annoying sometimes. -____- It's like I'd rather be anywhere but here, except then I wouldn't like that place either.

I need to go punch someone. That always makes me feel better.
gun_smoke_blue: (12k: Risai)


AGHWOIGHRPQEIRF SNOW.

THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT.

EVERYTHING GOT CANCELLED BECAUSE THERE WAS A STORM ON FRIDAY.

ASDLGKASHGWOIR MAKE IT GO AWAY.

Well. On Saturday, I had to go help dig my friend out of her driveway. It was slow going, because I kept on getting distracted and sitting down to take a break.

Stranded!Friend: *peers meaningfully at me, then at the snow blocking her car.* You know, some people actually need to get out of their driveways to get to a paying job on time.

Me: *Making snow angel* You know, some people are just too cheap to contract a snowplowing company to GET them out of their driveways on time, and are reduced to asking their starving college friends to help their skinflint asses.

Stranded!Friend: *brandishes shovel in a vaguely threatening manner*

Me: I have a black belt, you know.

Stranded!Friend: Ask me if I care, Frosty. *Dumps shovel full of snow on me*

So of course there had to be a snowball fight to restore my damaged honor. And Stranded!Friend turned out to have a black-belt in Snow Fort-fu, much to my chagrin. Needless to say that no one got to work on time that day.

gun_smoke_blue: (Dogs: Naoto blorp)

It's been a hectic couple of weeks. the weather, which has been grey and stormy and cold, did absolutely nothing to help. First of all, my laptop got infected with spyware. Again. I'd never realized how attached I was to the Internet until I started suffering from withdrawal symptoms in the middle of class. Pah.

For Valentine's Day I sent a handmade card to my mother, and went on a group Laser Tag date with my boyfriend and another couple. for those of you who don't know what Laser Tag is, it's where they strap you into a vest with sensors attached to the front, back and shoulders. You're given a laser gun that shoots (duh) lasers, and you score points depending on where you hit another player's sensors. (That sounded dirty...)

Because Laser Tag is, surprisingly, NOT the venue of choice for most couples on Valentine's Day, my group found ourselves alone in the LaserQuest building except for a birthday party full of fifteen or so elementary-school kids. Okay, I though, so we'll be facing off against these guys. No problem. I'll just go easy on them and everyone will have fun, right?

Dear god, it was like Lord of the Flies on crack.

These kids knew flanking maneuvers, okay. It was like being stalked through a glow-in-the-dark jungle by fifteen little Rambos. They had a point man and a rear guard and sentries. Since my boyfriend was the tallest person in the room, the little Devil-Children aimed for him first. We never had a chance. These children made me feel fear.

When the game was over, the score stood as thus: My team, 200 points. The little Devil-Children, 290 points.

The future of my country's military is in safe hands. Thank the entertainment industry for the slew of violent war games, Uncle Sam.

I am never playing Laser Tag again.
gun_smoke_blue: (sandman)
So. Christmas.

It's not--

I'm staying over at my uncle's house this year.

I'm not--

My mother and I just can't see eye to eye right now. It just.

It just hurts. So much.
gun_smoke_blue: (isamu jeans)


You are the World


Completion, Good Reward.


The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.


The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

gun_smoke_blue: (Default)
Warrior Queens and Cranky Unicorns
Rating: T to R
Genre: Action/Adventure
Fandom: The Twelve Kingdoms (booksverse: Sea of Shadow)

Unfinished, but off to a good start. [info]italicsinindigo, here you go. Unbetaed, in all its sticky glory.

 

In late winter of the hundredth year of Sekishi... )

 

 


gun_smoke_blue: (Default)

So I guess I've gotta get all the fanfiction I've been writing down so I have a master list.

1. We Were Never Children, a Naruto Fallen Leaves Universe backstory for Katsuko and her genin team, going right from their first day as a genin team all the way up to the deadly ambush.

2. Warrior Queens and Cranky Unicorns, a Twelve Kingdoms fanfic involving Yoko Nakajima and Keiki.

3. An as of yet unnamed fic for LJ community naruto_404 with my character Komatsu Akira

All of these stories will be finished and posted by the end of summer, or I will go kick a cute fluffy animal. I swear it.

gun_smoke_blue: (Angelina Jolie is my girl-crush)

Written after pulling an all-nighter, in the grips of hysteria and sleeplessness. I was bored, and so I started typing. Somehow, AU Star Trek Katsuko, a female Centaurion, and a seriously creepy little girl managed to get created.

Read more... )
***

***

 With the weight of the world on your shoulders... )
gun_smoke_blue: (Furuba Am I right or am I right?)
In return for some drawings of Katsuko, my Fallen Leaves character, I offered to write Suz some fic. Her prompts were "Katsuko and Hayate, mission, blood or chicken feathers, sneezing at a horribly bad moment."

 

So, here it is. Katsuko Hayate goodness. )
gun_smoke_blue: (Furuba Am I right or am I right?)
I've been having a pretty surreal recurring dream for the last couple of weeks. I call it the Moustache Dream.

As you may have guessed, the dream starts with me looking in a mirror and admiring my new facial hair. It looks my uncle's handlebar moustache, except less gray and peppery. I'm hyperventilating with worry and perhaps a little bit of a spaz attack, because hello female sprouting a beard.

In the dream my mother comes in and is helpful in her own special brand of helpful by saying, "Well, we can always bleach it.""

My father, in my dream who is just conveniently right behind my mother, just shakes his head and sighs. Not so different in real life.

It's when I wander outside, though, that things start taking a turn for the worse.

The entire campus is out enjoying the sun in my dream, and as one they all turn and stare at me. Everything is silent.

Then they all start screaming.

Cue a massive rush of panicked people away from the strange Asian girl with facial hair. Sometimes people scream, "Yeti!" And other times they just scream. People I know and like are in the crowd. My boyfriend. My friends. My professors. Sometimes Brad Pitt.

Once, after a conversation with Ki in which she showed me all these martial arts videos, the muay Thai star Tony Jaa was in there too. He was shirtless. :D That was fun.

Then, usually, a well-meaning citizen comes up to me with a shaver/ razor/industrial-sized shears/meat cleaver and offers to "take care of that strange thing on your face".

This is usually when I scream to high heaven and jolt awake, flailing in bed and falling off.

...0__0

I think I need a therapist. I had this dream again last night. Adrien Brody was in it this time. *mournful* He was wearing a suit, too.
gun_smoke_blue: (Angelina Jolie is my girl-crush)
This library is cold. My tank top is thin. WHY DO YOU HATE ME WORLD?

...But I found Angelina Jolie icons.

*ponders*
gun_smoke_blue: (Default)
First cross-post from dreamwidth! \o/. Yes, Drel. I gotta pretty layout. Shut up.
gun_smoke_blue: (Default)
First entry. Need to find layout
gun_smoke_blue: (Default)
A while ago there was a meme that asked a person for five things they associated with me. [livejournal.com profile] nezumiko answered,

1. Prednisone (which tastes like ass)

2. Martial arts

3. New York City

4. Unbridled energy

5. and Katsuko.

I now bring you numbers 1-3.

Drumroll please.

Prednisone (which tastes like ass)

Ah, prednisone. Your bitter taste shall be the fuel for my nightmares for years to come. I'm on my university's crew (rowing) team, and we're out rowing on the Genesee River every day. Fall in Rochester is moist, windy, and cold. Last year around November, I start coughing in the boat. Nothing serious, at first. Nothing that would mess up my rhythm in the boat.

Then my chest starts hurting.

Okay, okay, well, I thought, I'll see the doctor this weekend. I just have to finish this one competition.

Then I barf up what feels like the entire lining of my lungs during a six-mile race in Ohio. Boy, was it fun in the bus coming back from that.

Walking pneumonia, the doctors say. They confine to bed and give this bottle of absolutely shitty tasting pills called prednisone. I took them for the first time and spent the next hour gagging. I wailed to Nezu online that they tasted like ass. I guess the comparison stuck. :P

Martial arts.

I love martial arts. Love it. I started taking Isshin-Ryu karate at a nonprofit dojo the summer I turned nine. I won't say I took to it immediately--quite the opposite, in fact. I hated the constant drill, the techniques I had to practice over and over to engrain into muscle-memory. The beginning of my "martial arts career" (hah) consisted of me trying to get out of karate class every day and failing.

Then I discovered sparring.

Oh noes, I thought, wimpy nine-year-old that I was, I'll get hurt. But then the light switched on.

Holy crap. I get to kick guys in the nuts really hard and I won't get in trouble for it.

Thus started my love of karate.

New York City

Rochester is about 7 hours away from the Big Apple, 3 hours if you go on plane. I go there with friends or family whenver I have an extended break. It's--

Gray concrete and flashing steel girders, the roar of traffic and the smoke of car exhaust. The chaos is muted in the morning, but barely just. Vendors line the streets, hotdogs and halal side-by-side with the peanut sellers.

In some places, the skyscrapers block out the sun.

The people are the most interesting, though. All different ethnicities, freaks and geeks and naked cowboys. (look it up on google. naked cowboy, nyc. you'll see.) I make new friends every time I go to the city, not to mention a few enemies.

It's not exactly beautiful, this smelly city, but it's pulsing with life.

gun_smoke_blue: (me! kind of.)
And my grandmother and my mother and my aunt and my uncle from Virginia and my cousins from Boston ARE ALL CALLING.

....Since when the hell did I have a cousin from Boston?

And it's hectic because they all made plans to take me out for dinner and a movie and conveniently forgot to tell me until this morning, where they called or texted my cell phone until the poor thing just fizzled and died.

....When do you think I should get around to telling them that I've made plans for tonight already?

Well, a happy 21st to me. 0__0 Maybe I should go out of town for the weekend.
gun_smoke_blue: (Default)

Shamelessly ganked from [livejournal.com profile] jbmcdragon.

Ask any character I've written for advice, and they will provide it, advice columnist style. Your problems or fictional characters' problems both welcome. Management is not responsible for the results of following said advice.

Ash

Also, I'm watching this movie on yahoo that's supposed to show a pod of dolphins playing with an unmanned sea plane and is supposedly hilarious. Well, I see the sea planes, but where the fuckdammit are the dolphins?!
gun_smoke_blue: (ah! scared face)
Dear stomach,

Please do not let that low throbbing feeling be your way of telling me me you're getting sick. I have a date on Friday (my birthday yay), and if you insist on being uncooperative I will stuff you full of Pepto-Bismol and go anyways. I will even put on the ridiculously corset-like Little Black Dress, just to spite you.

Love,

Ash

Dear head,

If you do not stop aching right the fuckdammnit now I will bang you against a wall until you stop. Yes, I know I'm not being as nice to you as I was to Stomach. That's because you've been getting me into trouble lately. (Why the hell would you forget that the car keys were in the fruit basket anyway, huh?)

Sincerely,
Ash

Dear hands,

Please don't give up on me now. I'm typing possibly the best thesis I have ever done and you are not helping by twinging the way you do. You wanna go see Mr. D the wonderful massage therapist? Ok, we'll go see Mr. D the wonderful massage therapist. Just don't die on me before Friday. I will bribe you with a manicure.

Much love,
Ash

Yo.

Mar. 19th, 2009 03:21 pm
gun_smoke_blue: (losing my mind)
Things are getting better, slowly. In time with all my work, people are nice.
My birthday's coming up in a couple weeks. 20, anyone? Heh.
I'm just feeling restless, lately. Like...I need to go out and do things but I don't actually know what things they are. It is strange.

In other words, I'm kinda twitchy.
gun_smoke_blue: (Default)
"nobody but you"
Charles Bukowski

nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
inside.

nobody can save you but
yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don't, don't, don't.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?

nobody can save you but
yourself
and you're worth saving.
it's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.

think about it.
think about saving your self.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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