Jan. 31st, 2011

gun_smoke_blue: (12k: Risai)
Nothing much to report on the home front. The University held a memorial service for Jeffrey a couple weeks ago; I went, and listened to his professors and family talk about his life. So many people loved this boy; the chapel where we held the gathering was full--people were eventually forced to stand against the walls during the service.

This is the first time someone I was friends with died. I feel numb, a little. It's hard to think that he's gone. There's a hole in the universe he should have filled with his presence, and it feels like I'm getting punched in the stomach every time I open up my email and his username is the first thing that pops up in my chat box. I can't bring myself to delete it; whenever I move my mouse over the chat box his picture pops up. He's staring right at the camera in this photo; eyes crossed, tongue out, completely un-self-conscious like he always was.

I miss him.

My friends online and in real-life have been wonderfully supportive, and I'm extremely happy that I know such amazing people. I'm getting my life back on track, bit by bit. Classes haven't let up at all; it's a relief, almost, to lose myself in the work.

Winter has hit Rochester hard this year; every time I step out of the dorms it's like getting punched repeatedly in the face with an angry snowball. I'm looking forward to spring, and new beginnings.

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